everychildmatters – Plan. Evaluate. Scrap. Repeat.

I would imagine that these words will resonate with Christians throughout the world, not least because they form part of the Nicene Creed and, as such, are central to the beliefs of mainstream Christianity.

As a child who was naturally drawn to the Arts as opposed to Science, I rather liked the idea of ‘God the creator’ making heaven and earth from scratch and I would try to imagine an ‘almighty Father’ fashioning each element in some vast workshop somewhere. And the fact that He was able to shape not just the visible, but the invisible too placed him at least on a par with any superhero that I had watched on the big screen!

I’ve recently started running again (having finally taken the plunge and joined a group) and I can honestly say that I am thoroughly enjoying it. The camaraderie and company are second to none and it’s surprising how quickly the kilometres pass when you have other people to talk to. Not only this, but I had begun to see some faint glimmers of progress – an unexpected (but nonetheless welcome) bonus – with the ‘staggering to flight’ ratio of my gait gradually moving in the right direction. And then, just as I dared to believe that I might finally be on the cusp of developing something akin to a running ‘style’, my left calf rather forcefully demurred; a salutary reminder that I am simply not (nor will I ever be!) an athlete.

When I eventually reached the sanctuary of my car, I tentatively unveiled the offending limb expecting to see bulging veins, significant bruising, severe swelling – or at least some visible indication as to the reason why I had been so unceremoniously reduced to a limp…

Nothing. Rien. Nada.

Accepting that it was merely my pride that had taken a bruising, my thoughts returned once more to the notion of ‘all things visible and invisible’ or ‘seen and unseen’ (depending upon the version that is being used) and I found myself dwelling upon the issue of mental health problems and other ‘invisible’ illnesses.

It has been widely publicised that the global pandemic has had a negative impact upon mental health and the enormous amount of uncertainty surrounding employment / financial security (not to mention the curbing of many basic liberties) is explanation enough for this. However, the number of children suffering from a recognised mental illness has risen dramatically too, with a staggering one in six children aged 5 to 16 identified as having a probable mental health problem in July 2021. Not only is this a huge increase from the 1 in 9 recorded in 2017 but, to put this into perspective, this now equates to roughly 5 children in every classroom – and the ‘signs’, of course, are not always easy to spot.

I recently had a conversation with a friend who is desperately trying to support her daughter through a lengthy period of anxiety and depression and whilst the school, CAHMS and family GP have all become involved in her daughter’s care plan it is more than apparent that the emotional strain is beginning to take its toll upon the entire family. With perseverance, patience and understanding it is hoped that the situation will gradually improve. However, the current status quo is certainly a far cry from a time when the application of a sticking plaster or ‘magic cream’ was all that was needed to alleviate her child’s suffering.

And it occurred to me that in much the same way as Christians assert that the Holy Trinity (or in other words the unity of God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit) is central to their faith, perhaps the Body, Mind and Spirit form the ‘earthly’ equivalent. After all, unless all three of these elements are in good ‘working order’ it is all but impossible for a person to thrive.

The daily school run used to be a rather sombre affair – two thirds of the journey being completed in a deeply resentful silence born initially out of sibling conflict, and then cemented by maternal rebuke!

Having first barged passed each other on their way out to the car (often accompanied by some strategic ‘following through’ of the elbows and / or feet) the incessant verbal needling would then begin, serving as a brief prelude to one (or both) of them dealing a meaningful blow – and all of this before my key had even turned on the ignition! No amount of adjustment to the morning routine seemed to dilute the intensity of their testosterone charged rivalry and I used to arrive at work wondering quite where it had all gone so horribly wrong!

Now that my eldest is responsible for making his own way to school, however, the school run has changed beyond recognition. It has become a conversation rich environment in which my brain is frequently left scrambling for answers that are (almost) equal in quality to the myriad of questions posed by my youngest son. Being someone who deals in facts (rather than opinions) and takes things literally, he used to struggle to understand the meaning behind commonly used figures of speech. However, dogged determination on his part (no doubt bolstered by an unrelentingly competitive streak) has meant that he is now able to casually toss one or two examples into sentences of his own – delivered, I might add, with a generous helping of conceit!

One early example of the kind of confusion that can easily arise from speaking figuratively, was when (in response to a damning assessment of one of his classmates) I cautioned him not to ‘judge a book by its cover’. No sooner had the phrase left my lips than I was met with a plethora of reasons as to why the cover of a book was, in fact, a useful tool for deciding whether to read it…

Conceding that he had a point, I have since dropped that particular phrase from my ‘repertoire’. However, I was reminded of it again today when I saw a friend’s post on Facebook and very nearly fell foul of my own cautionary advice…

My friend had uploaded a photo of a chocolate bar and the accompanying caption was along the lines of being excited about eating it later. I’ll admit that I was about to scroll on when (sensing that there might be ‘more to it’) I realised that, far from being a frivolous post about harbouring a penchant for a particular brand of confectionary, this was a touching and well-written explanation about something (or rather someone) close to her heart. In this case, that chocolate bar had been given to her daughter as a birthday gift but instead of keeping it for herself, the little girl had chosen to give it to her mum.

Further explanation is needed, however, because this is a young girl for whom life did not begin favourably. Having suffered untold sadness and neglect, she had eventually been removed from her birth mother before embarking upon the long and painful road to adoption. With the continuing love, patience and support of her adoptive parents, the healing process has evidently begun in earnest and (no longer fearful of going hungry) this little girl was happy to part with the entire chocolate bar.

Parenting can be hard – even when your relationship with your little one began with a totally clean slate. One can only imagine how much harder it must be, when a veritable cocktail of emotional and physical trauma, deep-seated fear, and an almost blanket distrust of adults stands in the way of that crucial relationship building process. Only by having read the post in full, was I able to begin to comprehend its significance.

By all means then, use the cover as a guide – but don’t forget to read the ‘book’ in its entirety before you attempt to form a judgement of any kind.

And even then, it’s probably wise to tread carefully.

Tag: everychildmatters

Of all things visible and invisible

Books. And their covers.